Monthly Archives: April 2014

The Barber Institute of Fine Art (by Cana, age 7 and three quarters)

At the barber institute of fine arts we were looking at sculptures and the first sculpture we looked at was a nude sculpture of Aphrodite. The Goddess of love and we were looking at the sculpture and the guide said to the younger children if they wore clothes and one little boy said “ I normally wear a top and trousers and a vest and pants!” and the guide said with a little laugh “ha you can tell me more about that later.” She said in a kind voice and then we moved on to the next piece of art.

aphrodite

Alex Gr8

The next piece of art was a painting of Alexander the great, well, I don’t think he is very great because the guide said he chopped peoples heads off which is a bit gruesome so I am not going to go through all of the chopping part. So, I think somebody would want to know about this! As you can see in this picture Alexander the great is holding his arms in an unusual way. Our left hand side but his right hand is on his hip and his left hand but to us it is his right hand is drooping on his scabbard because it’s to show that he is very clever. And he doesn’t have a beard because in war people would grab your beard and then stab you, so he of course didn’t want to be killed so of course he shaved his beard, that was the good reason and now I will tell you the bad reason he wanted everyone to see his face so he was showing off.

hercules real

This nude person is called Hercules and his story starts off sad but ends up ok. So this is the story of Hercules, Hercules’s Daddy was called Zeus and Zeus was a god but Zeus was a very naughty god in fact he was so naughty that even though he had a wife he went down to earth and fell in love with another lady and his wife who was a goddess called Hiera was very cross she thought that Zeus was her husband but went and married another lady and had a baby with her. So she was very cross and so she wanted to kill baby Hercules so in the night she crept down to earth and threw some poisonous snakes into the cot and hoped that they would eat him up. But what she didn’t know was that Hercules was very strong and baby Hercules woke up and then played with the snakes and the guide thought that in Hercules’s head he might have been thinking“ Wow a new toy to play with!” so first he swung them round and round by their tails and then he found out that their tails rattled so he rattled them a lot and then let go so they went flying across the room over to the door and the snakes fled away from Hercules and when Zeus found out that Hiera had thrown poisonous snakes into Hercules’s cot he knew that she would come back so he hid Hercules until Hercules was a grown man obviously he went to university and college and school and nursery so he only did sitting inside his hiding place most of the time. When he was a fully grown man there was a Nemean lion attacking the people.

Herc n lion

Hercules came as quickly as possible and started to fight the Nemean lion he couldn’t do anything that included weapons because a Nemean lion has very tough skin so can you guess what Hercules did to kill the Nemean lion? Well if you said no I will tell you because I know what he did. Do you remember I told you that Hercules was really strong? Well he used his strength to do it he held open the Nemean lion’s mouth and the Nemean lion couldn’t breathe so he died.

chair

This is a sculpture did you know that? And did you know that sculptures can be made out of anything? Well they can and do you know what my Mummy said to me about this sculpture? If that was a no then I will tell you right now
she said “A toddler could make that if they knew how to use a drill!” which, in my mind, is quite true. It’s quite a silly thing to make because chairs are for sitting on not to roll off onto the floor with! And who would want that thing in their house anyway? Certainly not me I think it’s quite ugly.

miss clara

This rhino is called Miss Clara and this is quite a nice and kind story. When Miss Clara was a baby some mean men came and killed her mummy and a Dutch man came along and found Miss Clara and felt really sorry for her and said “I can’t leave this poor Rhino here by herself” So he took her home not just in his back garden actually in his house like for example in his living room! This Dutch man was very kind and did you know that you could train Rhino’s? This is a photo of the Dutch man training Miss Clara he is probably saying sit to Miss Clara I told you, you could train Rhino’s! The Dutch man even taught Miss Clara how to eat off a plate! The Dutch man invited lots of ladies to tea and when they came and saw Miss Clara eating off a plate they screamed and ran as far as they could from the Dutch man and Miss Clara! Now, Miss Clara as you would know, grew and grew and did poo’s and poo’s and the Dutch man said to his friend “I love Miss Clara but her poo is everywhere and I don’t know how to pick it up so soon my house will be flooded with Rhino poo and I know that won’t be nice!” and his friend who was very nice said “don’t worry, I am taking a ship to England and I can take you and Miss Clara with me and you can show royal people Miss Clara!” And the Dutch man said “Thank you so much!” and he went straight to Miss Clara and told her every single word that his friend told him he was so excited, he had taught her how to dance by the way! And he danced with Miss Clara till it was tea-time! When the day arrived they got on the ship but it wasn’t a very good start because Miss Clara was sea sick! So when they got to England can you guess which Royal person she met first? Well I am going to tell you anyway she met Queen Victoria! And guess what she did in front of Queen Victoria! Now this you will laugh at she did a pile of poo in front of Queen Victoria! And did a pile of poo in front of the King of France too! In fact she did most of her poo’s in front of people! And the rest of her life she was just going around in and out people so I shouldn’t tell you just all about that!

(Editors note: After the tour of the Art gallery we took part in a workshop where we made our own rhino sculptures)

023

This is Jude my brother who made this Model Rhino and he is only 6 so I think it is quite good for his age don’t you think so?

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Now can you see the big photo of a girl with a model rhino well she is my sister and she is only 3 and she partly made that all by herself! Can you believe it!

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Now this other photo of a girl is me the one who told you all these stories about Aphrodite and, Alexander the great and, Hercules and a kind of story of the chair with wheels on the seat and, Miss Clara and now I had just shown you the photos of my brother and sister and now I have come round to me now I will introduce myself my name is Cana and my sister is called Mae and my brother if you didn’t know is called Jude and I am 7 and everyone there made their own model rhino and it was actually quite fun making models!